This week I went in for epidural cortisone injections to relieve pain and inflammation in my back. Unfortuneatly this is not the first time in the past year that I have undergone the procedures, but I think I intend for it to be my last.
After meeting with my doctor, a physiatrist who specializes in conditions like mine, he suggested that I try injections one more time to get some relief. Understand that these injections don't fix anything, but serve more as a band-aid. The idea being, in my case, to gain some pain-free time so I can work on strengthening the back and core some more. Yes, I have already tried this before, but sometimes you have to retrace your steps and try again.
Rather than concern myself too much about the outcome. (ie, Will I be able to train and compete again as I once was able), I have been taking everything one step and one day at a time. Of utmost importance to me, has been a refocusing of all my energy to everything positive. I've always been an eternal optimist, but I can honestly say that pain has a way of leaching those positive vibes from deep within.
Over the past few months, as I have watched my body deteroriate and expand, I have experienced those positive energies turn to more negative energies. Clearly that is no way to pull one's self together! So...I resolved to see only the positive and be the vibrant personality that is the real me. Not the down in the dumps, busted up triathlete that I was feeling like.
So much of feeling positive and being positive is surrounding yourself with that which brings you joy. For me, being outdoors and spending time with my furry friends is among the chart toppers. Everyday this week my husband and I have been going to the local dog park with our chihuahuas, Zola and Bella. Admittedly we have to keep a close eye on the girls as other larger, canine park visitors might mistake them for a tasty (albeit bony) snack. Still, it is worth everything to watch Zola chase and retrieve her red frisbee.
It's quite a sight to see a small chihuaha race with all her might to retrieve the flying red disc. It makes me laugh and it makes her appear to be the most fulfilled dog in the world. Zola's red disc of happiness is wonderful medicine. It give me joy to see her loving life and it reminds me that were I able to train, I would miss this opportunity to share the time with her, Bella and Philip.
I was able to get in the pool for some splashing around yesterday. I won't say I did 'just X" or 'only Y' as I might have in the past. What I accomplished was a U-turn in attitude, a reversion back to the old positive me, but with a new appreciation for what a red disc of happiness can be.
