After being out of triathlon competition for over a year now, I am going to get back out and race in 2009. While I have been in and out of shape a few times in my twenty years of racing, I feel like this is likely to be the hardest 'comeback' of my life.
I've barely gotten wet in the pool, but I have spied the ol' familiar black line for some laps. I'm running again, with a lot of huffing and puffing. I'm on the bike willing the cranks around and promising myself there will be less of me come race day. I love being out there and I love to train. Still, getting back to a point where the training is routine and as integral as brushing my teeth is the current struggle. I have a lot of limitations that I didn't have before. This means I have to be flexible and adjust to how my body feels on a daily basis in a hyper sensitive way. The ol' back is temperamental and a flare up could set me back for weeks, so it is a fine line to walk. Those limitations can play a little mind game with you. The ever familiar, 'am I doing enough?' or 'am I working hard enough' ?
There seem to be so many more demands on my time than ever. (isn't it that way for everyone!) I start to wonder if I can 'get back to' the way it was. Then I realize, I don't need to. It is time to forge the way it will be for me now. If you find yourself struggling at all with your daily workouts...just getting outside, to the gym or the pool, you're not alone. Even though the thought of toeing the line with my peers in a few months scares the tar out of me, my life is full with a lot of other great things that are pulling me every which way. I think that it why so many of us are drawn to triathlon in the first place, it is a means of balancing out our lives. I suspect I will find that 'balance' again, but right now I'm teetering and tottering all over the place and that is OK. There are many more dimensions to me than swim, bike, run and they are just as important.
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